Friday, March 25, 2016

Beautiful on the inside

About two dozen years ago, my youngest sister came up to me while I was working, and said,
"[Big Sister], I just want you to know that I think you're beautiful on the inside."
Um, thanks.

She'd actually intended that comment to come out in an encouraging way.  I'd been dating a guy who I knew wasn't great for me, and she knew it too, and she figured I was only dating him because I thought I wasn't worth much.  Or something.  I assured her that, actually, this particular guy was on the way out and that my self-esteem was, if anything, over- rather than under-developed.  Since then, we've often joke-lovingly told each other that we're beautiful on the inside.

And now I have pictures to prove (?) it.  Yesterday I treated myself to an endoscopy and manicure, but without the manicure.  The anxiety stuff that I wrote about earlier has been long gone (yay), but the chest pain/weirdness persists, so I got assigned to a gastro guy who decided to take a peek inside.  Are there ulcers lurking about within me?  Or is it merely heartburn?

I have to say, that one of the weirdly reassuring events in this long series of health-and-medicine adventures was going to my dad's birthday party in February.  While I was there, my sister reminded me that Dad had a prolapsed esophageal valve, and he'd suffered heartburn basically all his life.  When he was about my current age, he had his own endoscopy (also no manicure) that discovered an ulcer lurking inside of him.  And yet, here he was, celebrating 80 years, still going to the gym, and just getting ready to head for a month-long overseas trip just so he could see the solar eclipse from off the coast of Indonesia.

So I figure, I'm not really in mortal danger either.

At any rate, yesterday I had my own upper endoscopy.  I got my beautiful new blue gown, I got the monogrammed bracelet, I got the IV.  My GI doc peeked around inside of me, and when I woke up, he told me words to the effect that I'm beautiful on the inside.  No ulcers.

Wanna see?
Duodenum, midway, and esophagus.  

So it looks like I just get to keep taking heartburn meds and hope that this chest-burn goes away.  

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