Like many people I know, I try to remember to thank people for what they're doing: our department coordinator, the department chair, the people that clean our building or organize the behind-the-scenes computer systems.
But here's a twist that I've really been enjoying: it feels even more meaningful when I get to pass along something that someone else was saying. Like, the other day, I was talking to someone who I'll just call "Amy" here, and I mentioned a compliment someone else gave her: "I was over at the registrar's office, and they were talking about how they asked you for help with pre-commencement work because you're so good. They said, 'Amy's the bomb'."
And Amy paused, and then told me how much she needed to hear that: she'd just applied for a position that would have been a kind of promotion, and got passed over for it, and hearing that she was valued meant a lot at that moment. I think the compliment felt all the more real because it wasn't face-to-face. I mean, we're supposed to be nice to one another in person; it's a whole other level of compliment to know that people are saying good things about you behind your back.
One of the passages from the Bible that has struck me comes right after Jesus is baptized, and God says to those hanging around: "This is my beloved Son, in whom I take great delight". What strikes me about this is that the introduction isn't about the role that Jesus takes on, but about the interpersonal relationship.
After I read this, I started trying to introduce people I know that way: instead of "this is X, who runs with me," but "this is my dear friend X, who makes my life better by keeping me active"; "this is my one of my favorite pew mates; she always makes me smile"; "this is my inspiration as a department chair; we all know we're in good hands with her." In other words, I try to not just say who the person is, but who they are to me. I love how much that seems to touch people.
No comments:
Post a Comment